Navigating Schooled and Homeschooled Children

As a teacher to homeschoolers and schooled children (on weekends), one of the recurring challenges I encounter is the confusion many children face when trying to reconcile their weekday experiences in mainstream schools with the teachings of Islam.

This is not surprising, as their daily routines often expose them to activities, values, or practices that directly contradict Islamic principles. Whether it’s participating in celebrations that have religious connotations, engaging in peer culture that normalises behaviours forbidden in Islam, or simply absorbing secular worldviews that downplay faith, these contradictions can create internal conflict for children and make their Islamic education seem detached from their everyday lives.

Many children in the UK attend secular schools where inclusivity often means exposure to a broad range of cultural and ideological practices. For example, Muslim pupils may be asked to create Christmas cards, perform in plays celebrating non-Islamic festivals, or sing songs with messages that conflict with Islamic values. Others might join activities like mixed-gender dancing or competitive behaviour that encourages excessive pride or aggression. These may seem innocuous to their peers and teachers, but for Muslim children, such participation can cause feelings of guilt or uncertainty when they later learn in their Islamic weekend classes that these behaviours go against their faith. The challenge becomes even more pronounced when they are told one thing at school and another at the mosque, leaving them unsure of how to act or where they truly belong.

As a teacher, navigating these situations can be delicate and frustrating. Children often ask honest and heartfelt questions, like why they are told not to celebrate certain holidays or why Islam prohibits something their school friends do freely. Explaining these matters in a way that resonates with young minds requires patience and balance. On the one hand, I want to instil a love for their faith and a strong moral foundation. On the other, I must ensure my words don’t alienate them from the environments they are part of every day. Simply telling a child that something is wrong without providing context or helping them understand the reasoning risks leaving them more confused, or worse, resentful toward their religious education.

The situation is further complicated by parents who often place the responsibility of resolving these contradictions on the weekend school. Many parents, though well-meaning, send their children to Islamic classes with the hope that it will act as a counterbalance to the secular or non-Islamic influences in their lives. However, this approach places an enormous burden on the teacher and creates unrealistic expectations. Weekend classes typically amount to a few hours each week, compared to the five full days children spend in their regular schools. Bridging the gap between these vastly different worlds in such limited time is a daunting task. Without consistent reinforcement at home, the lessons learned in Islamic school may not take root deeply enough to counteract the conflicting messages children encounter elsewhere.

This disparity often results in children compartmentalising their lives, seeing Islamic teachings as relevant only to the mosque and their secular behaviours as normal everywhere else. For instance, they may readily embrace Islamic manners and prayers during the weekend, but come Monday, they might feel pressured to set these aside to fit in with their peers. This duality can erode their confidence in practising their faith openly and lead to a shallow understanding of Islam, limited to rituals rather than a comprehensive way of life.

As a teacher, one of my main goals is to help children see that Islam is not a set of rigid rules confined to weekends, but a compassionate and holistic way of life that can guide them in all situations. To achieve this, it’s important to create a supportive classroom environment where children feel safe to express their doubts and experiences without fear of judgement. I often encourage open discussions about their school lives, helping them unpack their experiences and offering practical ways to navigate them in line with Islamic principles. For example, if a child is uncomfortable participating in a non-Islamic celebration, we explore respectful ways they can opt out without offending others or feeling excluded.

It’s also crucial to engage with parents, urging them to take a more active role in bridging these gaps. Parents should be encouraged to communicate with their children’s schools about their faith-based preferences, where possible, and to reinforce Islamic teachings at home in a way that feels natural and consistent. By working together, parents and teachers can help children build a stronger, more confident Muslim identity that allows them to navigate their diverse environments with integrity and grace.

Ultimately, the contradictions Muslim children face between their mainstream schooling and their Islamic education are not insurmountable, but they require a thoughtful and collaborative approach. As a teacher, I find it immensely rewarding to help children make sense of these challenges, even if the process is not always straightforward. By showing patience, understanding, and practical guidance, we can help them see that being Muslim is not about merely a set of rules and regulations confined to certain times or places. It is the truth, a complete way of life that aligns with the purpose for which we were created. Islam provides the framework for achieving ultimate success, both in this world and the Hereafter. When we prioritise Islam in our lives, it brings clarity, peace, and direction. However, if children grow up seeing it as something secondary or separate from their daily lives, they risk confusion and detachment from their faith as they get older.

If we do not address these contradictions early, the negative consequences can become apparent in their teenage or adult years. A lack of confidence in their Muslim identity, a shallow connection to their faith, or even resentment toward religious practices can arise when they fail to see the relevance of Islam in their everyday lives. Helping children internalise that Islam is the foundation for all their decisions and interactions is crucial for their spiritual and emotional well-being. It is not about blind adherence to rules but about understanding that these principles are divinely designed to guide us toward what is best for us. By fostering this mindset, we can give children the tools to navigate the challenges of growing up in a complex, multicultural society while staying true to their faith.